Pirates vs Ninjas

Ever since the beginning of humanity, Man has argued "who would win in a fight, pirates or ninjas?". Well argue no more for in this totally unbiased report on the issue will answer all your questions once and for all.

First we have to look at the strengths and weaknesses of both factions. Pirates sail on ships and have big bushy beards. Big bushy beards give them big points because a man is nothing without his big bushy beard. Ninjas do not have big bushy beards but through intense concentration, they can grow them instantly so they get double points.

The pirates eye patch is a big minus because depth perception is important in hand to hand combat. Ninjas can wear eye patches too to look cool but it does not effect their vision because they're ninjas. double points again for ninjas.

In terms of fighting, all points have to go to ninjas because nothing beats a sneaky ninja that can do kamehamehas and backflips.

So there you have it, ninjas win 10 times out of 10. Don't argue or they will come for you...

This has been a totally unbiased article based on scientific facts and months of research.

Ninja-If you don't agree with me, fuck you.